Week 5 & 6 reading

I've had a ridiculously hectic last 2 weeks so I'm just gonna be honest.....I didn't even pick up my book in the last two weeks...........my bad!

Favorite Claims

1: DolphinCat - Dalton Stuart
Team iLuminate’s performance on NBC’s Americas Got Talent the groups [jerky but elegant movements, strange and breath-taking choreography, and rapid roaming use of space] express [a sense of aggressive romance and intense ghoulishness.]


2: Mariah
In Fighting Gravity’s final Performance on America’s Got Talent, the voiceless and light dancers use graceful, upbeat, and a unique technique that expresses a new and an explosive futuristic type of dance.

Analysis

Color: Dark, gloom, vintage,
Shape: jagged, rough, unrefined
Shades: gloomy, grey
Feeling: broken, solitary, lonely, internal, desperation


"The Hollow"'s dark, jagged scenery emanates the state of internal desperation and broken loneliness that is expressed constantly throughout the album.

Week 4 reading

Book : Ship Breaker

Author : Paolo Bacigalupi

Number of pages this week : 69

Total pages : 203

Sentences/Quotes of the week :
"That's what the pig in the pen says when his brother gets knifed for dinner.....You're still in the pen. Still gonna die." - Ship Breaker

"We build with our hands what we have in our hearts" - August Burns Red

"Everything looks perfect from far away" - Confide

Tough choices....and the choices that follow

Today in my book i read about how the main character of my book was faced with a really tough decision, finally made up his mind and ended up constantly second guessing himself later on. I do this A LOT and about pretty much anything. I hate life's uncertainty. You make a decision now and you know it always has the chance for it to come back to bite you later. I wish there was a button in life that let you see the end result of your life whenever you needed to know that it would all be okay in the end. I worry about the college i'll attend, my career choice, future wife, number of kids, how ill raise those kids etc....it gets to be overwhelming. By the time i finish thinking about it all, i feel like my entire life is beating down on my shoulders with no chance at rubbing it off anytime soon. Sometimes i wonder if my saying yes or no to a simple question will completely alter my life path. And i know we're all told god knows what you're going to choose before you choose but how? it doesn't make sense, and maybe it's not supposed to, but i cant help but feel like i need to be weary with everything and everyone, a sort of sense of paranoia but not necessarily that someone is going to hurt me, but that i'm going to hurt my self with a simple choice i make. Maybe that's why i feel like i can't trust other people, because i don't even feel like i can trust myself. I find it hard to put my total devotion into one person or one thing, whether it's due to a fear of being heartbroken, not good enough, deceived, or any other of the possible things that could go wrong....now this, i admit, is a sense of paranoia. I never seem to thoroughly enjoy life if i don't have something to look forward to, whether it be hanging out with a special someone, seeing family, hanging out with old friends or anything of that nature really. Without having that thing to look forward to, it's like i'm watching a youtube video but instead of it moving to another after one is finished, i'm stuck pressing the replay button over and over again, a never ending, monotonous cycle. i'm so close to finally being out in the world all on my own, but i realize that i've got a lot of growing up to do yet. Getting over my insecurities and just being able to be myself without worrying what others think being at the top of the list. how am i supposed to be able to trust others until i can trust the guy in my skin first?

Week 2 reading

Book : Ship Breaker

Author: Paolo Bacigalupi

Pages read this week: 25

Total pages read: 84

Sentences of the week:
"She's slower than molasses running uphill in the middle of February...." My grandpa talking about how slow my grandma golfs

"A tree flew past, flying as if it were a toothpick flung by a child" - Ship Breaker

"The monster's huge muscled form loomed over the rest of the thugs, its doglike muzzle snarling and showing its teeth to scare back the hungry people" - Ship Breaker

Rain > Weight of the World

Today I picked up my book again to read some more and it happened to be about a big storm that washed away the entire beach the main character was on. Now anyone that truly knows me knows that I'm infatuated with rain. I guess it all goes back to when my family was living in my grandparent's house in Ossian because they had a porch with a tin roof and rain made a distinct sound on it that I found and still find remarkably relaxing. Plus, being born in Costa Rica where it rains on and off constantly, gives me a weird connection to it. To this day I find myself running outside at any sign of a storm just to get a chance to be enveloped in the gentle shower. It's unlike any other feeling in the world. If you ever just watch it fall around you, the effect it has on trees and plants, it literally brings life to the things that we pass on the side of the road and pay no mind to. Its just like I go outside and as it runs down my face, it takes all of my cares and leaves me feeling renewed. I constantly find myself just laying down outside as I become soaked with them, watching it all fall from the sky, as if god were crying over everything we've ever done wrong, yet it manages to feel uplifting instead of feeling like a burden. It has such a caring feel to it, something that lets us know that no matter how bad something my seem at this very moment, soon enough, another downpour will come through to give us a clean slate to work with. All we can do is take that clean slate we've been given and try to use it to write a better story than we had before. Now, there are always going to be flaws in the story, imperfections, but it gives us the opportunity to use what we've learned to just put that behind us and make another solid stride toward where we ultimately want to end up. Ive taken a few steps forward and also have taken a few steps back throughout life, we all have. But honestly, if it weren't for those steps backwards....how would i even know what the right direction looked like?